the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sober January is a disaster.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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