i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
