so that wasnt chicken after all
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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