So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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