Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
