while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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