My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I supernannyed him into submission
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
