singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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