# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
