so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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