I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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