Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
