I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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