This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize