Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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