just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
