Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
