i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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