sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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