Whod you bang
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Someone came in the potted fern
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
