but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
