we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
