Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
