I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
