So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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