The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
