Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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