That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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