Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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