I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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