Soap is not a condiment
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
