where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
