Swine flu. Run for my life!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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