so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So much rum. So many feels.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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