Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
