I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
