i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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