I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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