Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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