Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
