Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
