Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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