Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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