I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
