i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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