The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
