dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize