I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
