Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
