did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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