Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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