Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
