just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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