Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
