Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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