yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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