Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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