I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize